The Next Revolution Will Be Voicemail

It is time to revolutionize VOICEMAIL.

For a short period of time, you were able to answer your phone even if you didn't recognize the number. But now with SPAM calls on the rise, those days are over. So we hear a lot more of this:

Ring. Ring. Ring. Click. 

"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system, [reading of number], is not available. At the beep, please leave a message. After you are finished recording, hang up or press one for more options."

Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEP.

The same voicemail message we heard back in 2003 when cell phones started to become smaller and more affordable for everyone. Of course now, a person can not live without a smart phone. 24/7 connectivity is a must, even when you have ran through all your data and have to download news stories at a 100kb/s. Brutal, yet possible.

And why call anyway, when you could text message without all the anxiety of talking? It's faster and more efficient, except when you have to stop and google acronyms that really slow you down and the person you're texting thinks you stop talking to them and when you finally respond it's two or three days later when you hear from them. At least, that's my experience.

Well, you might not believe it, but sometimes calling is necessary, especially when it comes to business. Texting seems impersonal, where a voice to voice exchange means BUSINESS.

Or you're bored and would rather talk to someone then constantly spell check your text messages, especially if you have been partaking in mind altering activities such as drinking or getting high that impairs your ability to push those tiny little buttons. Another experience I have I had.

In those circumstances, the person you are calling will have your contact info programmed into their phone so they can see who is calling, or at least I hope. Except in business calls, NOT SPAM, the person won't have your number unless they do business with you on a regular basis.

The amount of calls I have to make are not that many soI don't have my customers numbers programmed into my phone, yet I do recognize most of their numbers when they do call. Although, my customers don't always recognize my number when I call. So again, I hear a lot of this:

Ring. Ring. Ring. Click. 

"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system, [reading of number], is not available. At the beep, please leave a message. After you are finished recording, hang up or press one for more options."

Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEP.

The same thing I heard when I had my first cell phone back in 2003. I am repeating myself, but the point is: WHY HASN'T VOICEMAIL BEEN UPGRADED?

Everyone knows what the Beep means. Everyone knows what to do when it beeps. And no one, I guarantee you, is pressing one for more options. What other options could there be? Unless it is going to translate my message into a foreign language, then don't bother having any other options.

In our current fast paced, I don't want to wait culture that we are living in theses days, the current voicemail message can seem like an eternity. A plain and simple solution to the problem of voicemail is to make it short, quick and to the point. Then this is all it should be:

"Leave a message for [reading of number]." 

BEEP. 

Finished.

The only other ornament is have the owner of the record their name to replace the reading of the phone number. Yes, that's right, personalized messages should also be abolished. Because you are just saying the same thing as the robot voice, only in your own voice, so it creates the same problem we already have. In the new version, all you have to do is say your name, like a signature, say it and you're done.

No pressure to be funny. No pressure to be quirky. No pressure to be professional. Only say your name, or don't and let the message read your phone number. No one is paying attention anyway, they are just waiting for that BEEP.

If you agree or disagree, feel free to let me know in the comments. Otherwise, let's get this thing started so that I don't have to wast my time listening to that old antiquated voicemail message I have already heard over a thousand times.