Test Taking Disappointment

   I took a test for my Wine Spirit Education Trust (WSET) Level 1 certification in wine. The first proctored test I have taken since I took the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) Level 4 back in 2010. The first test of knowledge I had taken since finishing graduate school in 2007. And the one thing you forget if you haven't taken a test in a while, it's not always about what you know, yet also about making good decisions on the questions that you don't know. And, on the few questions I struggled with, I don't feel like I made good decisions when answering them.

   I know I got the questions wrong. I reviewed the answers once I got home and know that I choice the wrong answers. I don't care about being wrong, or not knowing the answer, but what I do care about is making the best decision on what the answer is based on what I do know, and I didn't do that. I answered too quickly without thinking through the answers and instead went with a gut reaction.

   I have been sitting here all afternoon working on excuses on why I failed and didn't receive a 100%. The best I came up with is: Test Dyslexia. I have known a lot of people through my schooling years who had text anxiety, and never thought it was a real thing. The only test I ever took that made me sweat was the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT), and I did very poorly, never studying or doing any SAT Prep didn't help either. But, I learned my lesson and with practice and studying did a lot better on the American College Testing (ACT).

   But those were the good old days when you took a test a week. You were doing something we call: Practicing. Taking all those tests every week prepared you to take, more tests. So now when you have to sit down to take a test, maybe there is a bit of anxiousness or nerves, and in some of the questions all the answers started to run together almost like I couldn't read, hence test dyslexia. But again, this is just an excuse I am making so that I feel better about getting those answers incorrect. I actually don't have test dyslexia or test anxiety, I didn't get them right, because I didn't know the answer.

   No matter how you feel about tests, when you are an adult and haven't taken one in a long while, you forget some of the simple rules of test taking like: when you don't know the answer, break it down into what you do know and find the answer that best supports that assumption. And this is the true reason why I am upset, because I made poor decision making when choosing an answer.

   I like to boast that I have confident skills in creativity, problem solving and decision making. But I didn't show those skills today. Even though I did pass, I failed at what really matters to me. So now I have to pick up the pieces, learn from mistakes and move on. I am still here, and have to continue to move forward and improving, and not let the mistakes of the past derail progress or hold me back from my final destination of a brighter and safe future.