If you're any kind of a teacher, especially a technical skill, if anyone has ever said 'those who can't do, teach' and you haven't stuck a gun in your mouth and imagined what it would be like to be dead and didn't pull the trigger then good for you. It can be excruciating to be very good at something but no be in a position of success. You interpretation of success being in a position of high status, fame or in good fortune.
In Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland, they tackle the fear of creating without fear. Creating is more rewarding than quitting because you're afraid. Even when no one wants it, cares about it or even knows it exists. Look at this blog. No one is reading it or I don't know if they are or not, but I continue writing anyway. I'm not in band or giving recitals anymore, yet I still drum on occasion.
So when you don't quote on quote "make it" and you move to teaching then you start to feel a little resentment to those who are paying you to become you in ten years. But maybe they just might make it through that small crack that some get through. You shouldn't hold them back. Some teachers are actually amazing at what they do, but sometimes that art just doesn't have enough popular attention.
Learning an art is no easy task so why would teaching it be any different. The artist has spent many hours, days, months, and years practicing, refining, dedicating themselves to their art. Then a student comes in and doesn't give the art the respect the teacher feels it deserves or says, 'This shits easy', the teacher blows a fuse. So when your teacher says, 'Just do the art', or 'keep at it', or 'practice makes perfect', you should listen. And then do it.
You may go crazy. You may punch a wall. You may drink yourself into a lost weekend or ten years. But it's worth it to me. It's a life lived with fragments left behind. That's the best we can do.
And just always remember that one sun will explode and the everything on this Earth will disappear. Grim, I know, but true.
On one last note, if your teacher is a complete asshole, a temperamental piece of shit who yells at you and puts you down every chance they get, then find a new teacher. If they're like that just part of the time and treat you like an angel the other half then they're bipolar. You have to decide if it's worth it or not on your own. Maybe something you don't want in a lover, but in a teacher it can be kind of fun. Sometimes.
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