Blogging as stream of consciousness

I was listening to The Moment podcast, again. This time with Gabrielle Hamilton, writer and chef. She mentioned this idea about writing as a digestive process. When you write something you should sit on it a while so that you have time to reflect and decide what to keep and what to delete.

She said this in spite of our blogging culture where people write something then publish right away. Usually that's what I do here. A lot of of things I take care to craft a good narrative and sit on it a while before sending it out into the world, but usually if I do that then it never gets finished. That's my problem and has nothing to do with the point Gabrielle was making, because for the most part I agree.

Certain writing needs time to simmer and boil just like cooking. When you eat something right out of the oven you burn your mouth, but when you let it cool you can enjoy it much more without having to spit it out because it's too hot. In the moment maybe something you write seems fresh and inspired, smart and funny, beautiful and sexy, yet if you let it cool you can see it for what it really is: crap.

I'm sort of kidding. My main rebuttal to Gabrielle is that blogging as stream of consciousness can be liberating. It sets you free the limitations of strict rules and becomes an exercise in writing well the first time. Everything these days can be corrected. Photos with photoshop, music with autotune, movies with editing; nothing is never perfect the first time. It never was before the digital age and it never will in it. Although some people try real hard.

Blogging is sort of like that. Imperfection, free association, journal, stream of consciousness, garbage that we try to get right the first time as an exercise in getting it done. To write something for the fun of writing it, to share your life with others. No matter if it's trite, derivative, uninspired dribble from the mind of a lunatic. Set it free and someday you might be able to turn it into gold. And you'll never going to reach those 10,000 hours by sitting on your hands. So get moving.

Karaoke and the song that hit close to home

We went to the karaoke bar, The Drunken Clam, a derivative bar named after the cartoon show Family Guy. An alright place that's very over priced.

While we were there we met a couple from Oregon, the guy does video editing for Coast to Coast the paranormal late night radio show hosted by George Noory. And she works somewhere for Japanese company which is why they travel to Japan every so often.

The guy sang this song from the 90's:



 In the song he talks about a girl who wouldn't change in the dressing room because she had birth marks all over her body. The lyrics go like this:

Once there was this girl who
Wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room
But when they finally made her
They saw birthmarks all over her body
She couldn't quite explain it
They'd always just been there


I have the same thing. The reason why this blog is called A Thousand Little Galaxies is a metaphor for my nevi skin condition also known as moles. I have over a hundred different moles in various shapes and sizes all over my skin. They remind me of looking at the stars at night and the idea from the movie Animal House when they smoke pot and he philosophizes about whole galaxies living in his fingertips. It could be possible that civilizations could live on your skin, civilizations of bacteria are living on your skin at all times.

My moles actually have cause a lot of stress and depression in my life. They make me feel ugly and like a freak. Taking off my clothes in front of other people is difficult and I wear long sleeves all year round to cover them up. I envy people with beautiful clear skin who can walk on the beach without a care in the world. Because not only are they an eyesore they may one day kill me if any of them develop melanoma, a type of skin cancer.

It's a bit neurotic, I know. And it can't be helped. They have always just been there. And they will never go away. I have to live with them everyday and every night for the rest of my life. 

Happy Easter.

When I was a kid I loved Easter. Just like any commercial holiday I loved Easter for all the wrong reasons. I loved it because of the Easter Bunny.

Every year my parents would hide an Easter basket full of candy somewhere around the house. My brother and myself would search behind the couch, under the bed, behind the computer desk, practically everywhere until we found it. Then we would gorge ourselves on chocolate bunnies, juicy jelly beans and pastel m&ms.

Like any good Christian holiday it has been taken over by the candy companies to sell commercial items in the form of bunnies and baby chicks. Peeps were always my least favorite Easter candy and it still really freaks me out when I meet someone who really loved peeps as a kid. What I did love about peeps was putting them in the microwave and watching them explode. Very messy, but very cool. My mom stopped buying peeps after that.

Not that I mind. I'm not a Christian person, but Jesus is a fascinating character from history. But just like during Christmas when Santa Clause gets more love, during Easter the Easter Bunny reigns supreme. He hops around hiding his eggs or baskets for all the children to hunt and find then devour with delicious fury.

There were times when we cooked hard boiled eggs then colored them with egg coloring kits bought from the drug store. Egg coloring was simple at first, but later turned into an art form. Dipping just the top to turn it one color, then the bottom another color, then the sides so that you have a multi-colored amazing egg that looked to good to eat.

Of course growing up we also participated in Easter dinner with the family. I'm sure there were times that we went to church then met up with everyone to eat, yet there were also times that we didn't go to church and just went to eat.

I remember some Easter's going to my grandparents house, and some Easter's going to my Aunt and Uncle's house. The thing I remember most is eating Easter ham. Ham and eggs. If yo would dye those eggs green you would have a Dr. Seuss Easter.

Later, when I was in college and couldn't make it home for the Easter holiday, we would get together with some people and go out to Outback Steak House for a big cut of prime rib to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. A good way to celebrate any holiday really, except Thanksgiving of course.

But the thing I remember most and makes me feel sad about being old are those Easter mornings with Jeremy searching for our Easter baskets. Thinking about it now I can clearly see why I was such a fat child. Candy for Easter, cake for my birthday, candy for Halloween, pie for Thanksgiving, candy, cookies and pie for Christmas, milkshakes for New Years, more candy for Valentine's day, beer on St. Patrick's day and all over again year after year.

Well, at least it was fun until I started wanting to have sex. Then I realized how unattractive I was. But if I had a time machine, I would go back and tell my younger self that it doesn't matter. Just eat all you want. Fat or thin you'll never be attractive and the whole thing is just one big joke, so just enjoy your obesity, heart disease, clogged arteries and not being able to fit through doors or in a chair at the movies or on a plane.

Just do us one favor in return. Don't smoke. And invest in a really nice plastic woman, because those sex robots you thought were right around the corner or in fact not around the corner.

Happy Easter!

Baseball!

Today is the first game for the Hanshin Tigers. This year they have a new coach and coaching staff, some new players and some veterans. I'm excited to see how this year plays out. You can never tell from the preseason, but from the first game, you can't tell either.

All I really know is getting that first win is important and fun. The rest of the year will have its ups and downs, but today baseball is back and I'm happy to say, 'Play ball!'

Hello.

I had a dream with a man in the dream and he was very depressed.  In the dream everyone was giving him advice about how to meet a woman.

The guy in the dream kind of look liked David Hype Pierce from when he was on Frasier. Was he my dream avatar?

I listened to the last Real Life Sci-Fi episode 52, they talk to Devin who claims to be able to astral project himself and he meets these people he called his spirit guides. They help him navigate the dream world or the astral plane. A part of me thinks this may of happened to me.

My spirit guide is worried about me. It entered my dreams to help me push past this barrier I've seemed to have created for myself. This wall, only ten feet tall. I jump and grab, claw and scratch as far as I can get then fall flat on my face.

In that dream that advice was, 'Say hello, my name is (enter your name).'

Pretty simple.

The strange thing I was sitting in that bar, sitting on that chair, listening to the conversations of the people around when this man came up to me and said, 'Why so quiet?' I told him I tried but the clicks were too strong. He said, 'No, they're not. Just walk up and say hello and tell them your name.'

The same advice from my dream. I guess it's pretty common advice, but the same. Coincidence?

Real Estate

In Japan bars and restaurants are small and depending on where you sit can have a huge impact on your social evening. That's the type of real estate I'm talking about here. Not the illegal Air B&B kind that everyone keeps jumping on and suddenly acts like they're a real estate mogul. I'm talking about an even more important kind, a real estate that can make or break your whole night or even your whole life, the place where you sit.

Let's take a look at the scenario:

You enter a a crowded bar. There are no seats. Standing room only. You push through the crowed to get yourself a drink. You're there standing and you take a look around . Two girls sit by the door, no other seats around. Three girls sit at the back table and two girls at the bar. Five on your left and two to your right, dudes all around. Which way do you go? A seat opens up, closer to the left side. You take it.

Now your sitting next to a guy who has already put his claws in the two at the bar, and you can't position yourself to strike up a conversation with the girl's at the table. Now the girls by the door are too far and the guy next to you is acting like you doesn't understand the rules to Uno and when you try to help out everyone ignores you.


It's sounds a little like high school, but it's not a popularity contest, or is it? The more handsome people do win first, then the most drunk until five o'clock in the morning when everyone has gone home. The last man standing strikes again. 

Then some new girls show up and you do the gentlemanly thing and give up your seat. Now most people are so drunk that it's easier to jump into or start conversations. It also makes it easier to bump into each other and rub shoulders with strangers which also makes it easier to move around. So why aren't we drunk all the time? Health, that's right.

It's like this in most places around the city. The people in your closest vicinity are the people your going to be talking to for awhile. So you have to make split second decisions or get very lucky. You don't want to be stuck next to someone with nothing to say, like me.

What happens when the bar isn't crowded? Well then you have to summon the strength of a thousand men and forget your fear of rejection and go for it. Because your going to need that strength to fight off the thousand guys who also want to strike gold.

What a wicked game we all play.

Note that fell on the floor or the value of writing things down

I was cleaning up and found this note on the floor.

Dream Machine  doctor tries to put commercial in his dream but his guitar playing  is too strong

What was I thinking here?

1. There's a doctor
2. He has some type of machine that puts commercials in people's dreams
3. The hero plays guitar
4. The hero's guitar playing is strong
5. So strong that it bust through the dream machine and stop the evil doctor from putting commercials into people's dreams

I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it's a comedy with a little bit of sci-fi. It seems kind of crazy, but I can imagine what I was thinking. I can picture it in my head now. If I hadn't wrote it down, I would of totally forgotten about it completely.

You should write all your ideas if your already not. No matter how dumb they might seem at the moment of conception. This idea may not have any monetary value or it might in the future, but the value of remembering and having my ideas somewhere so I can remember them later is valuable.

So keep a pen, pencil and piece of paper handy for when inspiration hits you. Or another valuable tool in your neo-modern life is the voice recorder. The iPhone has voice memos or I have an app called iTalk. Android phones have something or in the Play store you can probably download something. When something pops in your head just turn it on and speak. The free form dictation helps get ideas down faster when typing, especially on my 4S, goes a little slow.

Good luck with keeping all your ideas in one place.

Old friends come back again.

I'm going to meet my friend that I haven't seen in almost a decade. Maybe 8 or 9 years to be exact. The last time I saw him I stayed at his house in Akron while I prepared my audition for the Masters program at Ferdonia University. I got accepted, but didn't get a scholarship so I couldn't afford another loan to go back to school, so I didn't go.

I have known him since the first day I visited Akron in the spring 2000 before I graduated high school. I started going to Akron that fall. I stayed in Akron until I graduated in the summer of 2005. We played music together in the Akron percussion department in various bands and ensembles.

He is now overseas playing on a cruise ship out of Shanghai. His ship is now in the Kobe port. He wants to meet and go out for Kobe beef.  I'm thrilled to see him again, but Kobe beef? Kobe beef is a mystical meat that has a better reputation around than world than in Japan. I'm not saying it's not good. It's great really. But everyone, here anyway, knows there's just as good and more affordable beef.

Well he's my friend and I want to do right by him. And by that I have to either abide and get Kobe beef or try to convince him to go a different route.

Honestly I'm inclined to just go along with whatever he wants and just remember it may be another 10 years before we see each other again. And when I do, I want to be able to have a laugh about the time we were in Kobe eating overpriced beef than remembering how I was a know it all who took away his only chance to have a once in a life time experience.

Sometimes you have to think ahead and not just in the moment. Sometimes you have to compromise to get what you want later rather than today.

Saying Sayonara

I'm going to be writing a lot about moving and change, but for the last two days I've been saying sayonara to the people I've been working with the past three years. It's not the first time I've ever said goodbye. I moved away to Akron when I was 18 and said goodbye to my high school friends. I left Akron five years later and said goodbye to all my college friends. When I left for Japan I said goodbye to the people I had been working with, who weren't my friends, but were good people. I've left jobs before, the one I had in Mie for two years, and said goodbye. The other jobs I left and sometimes see people I know, but not often enough. Three years and now I'm saying sayonara again. This time because I'm actually going far away and will never see them again.

That's a strange thought. When I say goodbye to my parents I know I will see them again. But the people I've worked with these last few years, I may never see again. I have to wish them a happy life, especially my students, I will never see again. We were in each others lives for such a short time and now it's over. I will never see them again, unless they become famous movie stars because if they're famous rock stars I'll probably never know, I mean it's Japan rock, I don't anything about that really. Unless they become the next Kyari Pamyu Pamyu then I'll see them again.

This is just the beginning. I still have a month and a half left until the real goodbyes begin.

Writing is hard.

I've mentioned The Moment podcast before, why, because it's an amazing podcast. Brain Koppleman is a great interviewer. He's smart, witty and funny. He also brings great guests who can articulate their struggles and successes in ways that make you feel, 'this will be me.'

In 2014 he interviewed Jon Lovett, speech writer for Hilary Clinton and President Obama in the White House. As well as creator of the television show 1600 Penn.

Around 56:00 minutes into the interview he says, "One of the biggest lessons I had to learn, as a writer, is that writing is really hard."

I agree with this point. As someone who wants to write for a living, I often feel this way. Writing is hard and doesn't get the respect it deserves.

Lovett goes on to say that he gets requests for help on writing toasts or letters and receives writing form "these people who are articulate and smart and the writing they produce is useless, terrible writing. And I often think the reason it's bad, no one ever told them writing was hard and, it will take you a while and it there will be a lot of frustration. And you need that and, you won't be done until it's been hard. Send somebody back with that piece of advice and they can come back with something a little bit better."

I don't feel like my writing is worth anything and I feel like he's talking about me, ever though he doesn't even know who I am, when he says that. But the hardest part is that I know writing is hard. It's a lesson I know already. And I'm working to write everyday to get better at the hard stuff.

Like he says here, he had to "learn from others how hard it was suppose to be. How much thought it was suppose to take. The care and consideration each paragraph and structure and all that stuff was suppose to take."

I feel that way all the time. But most of all I feel that writing needs to get out there. People who write spend a lot of time making it right. Making it perfect. Making it for everyone, when it just needs to be for the people who want it. 

Weekends

The weekend is weird construct. We work five days of the week and then take two days off to give ourselves the opportunity to ruin our lives or have the greatest time of your life.

The two sides of Saturday night:

1) You have a drink, then another. Shots with friends. Then another drink. More shots. More drinks. Now you're drunk.

Situations you can encounter now. Situations I've seen.

Violence - fighting with someone or yourself. I have a boxer's fracture from punching a wall bombed out of mind in college. Very sad. Loneliness + Drunkenness = Mayhem

Sickness - Drinking too much can lead to vomiting. Can also lead to hangover with symptoms including diarrhea, headache, body pain or kidney failure. And if you smoke then another day closer to lung cancer. Let's remember the emotional pain like regret, humiliation or jealousy.

Tiredness - Past out drunk is not sleep. So the next day you completely tired.

Impotence - If you're lucky enough to meet a girl then  your dick won't work.


2) You have a drink, maybe another.

No violence. No sickness. No tiredness. No impotence.

We all have decisions to make everyday and every weekend. Make the best ones that you can.

Story Lessons

I'm taking this class on Coursera about writing a TV Pilot or Web Series. It's an alright course, but moves pretty fast. I've been studying story for over a year now, mostly Campbell's Hero Journey and Dan Harmon's Story Circle.

From this course, he basically explains the same principals of story:

Beginning - An immersive start that introduces the characters and introduces the main plot.

Middle - Propels the action

End - Compelling and leaving them wanting more

You can use this format for three act structure, act structure and for the scene.

The scene has it's own beginning, middle and end. With each scene contributing to the story and having an impact.

Not a lot there, but he really boils it down to the basic elements for a wide audience. I respect that.

He also throws in a tidbit about critical thinking being essential for good writing. So you should study critical thinking if you want to write compelling stories.

Two lessons by Seth

In the Start Up School podcast, a fly on the wall conversation with Seth Godin and a number of entrepreneurs, he says, 'never give anything away for free, cause they have it for free then why would they want I pay for it.' Sound advice and reason I don't teach trail lessons for free anymore.

That was in 2012.

Then in 2015, Seth appears on The Moment with Brian Koppleman. He says in that conversation, paraphrased as 'if you make something give it away for free. Then if people want more, they will pay you for it.'

Is this a contradiction? I don't think so.

For the entrepreneur, you're taking a big risk to start a business, develop a product and market that thing. That's a lot of money to get up and running. Then to give it away for free would be insane. Discounted? Yes, please. Free? No.

Except for some web services, like blogger, the cost is lower and the opportunities to give things away for free or easier. But you get people hooked on that thing then say 'here's a better version of this thing for this much a month.'

For the artist, again the cost is low. Your emotional risk is high, but capital risk is low. If people hate it could crush your spirit and possibly send you spiraling into depression. But it didn't cost you anything to write the book or paint the picture and you probably had fun doing it. It gave you a since of accomplishment. So to give it away for free is no big deal. Then when, an you know there will be a when, someone comes back for more you can charge for the thing. Then hopefully make a profession out of it.

This might not happen. It might not happen for me, it might not happen for you, but it does happen to people so you have to try.

Godin actually says, 'lay out your book in a nice PDF and email it to 100 people. If it's good, then it will get out to 10,000. Then selling your second book will be easy.'

Do you have the guys to try it?

It's not easy teaching art.

If you're any kind of a teacher, especially a technical skill, if anyone has ever said 'those who can't do, teach' and you haven't stuck a gun in your mouth and imagined what it would be like to be dead and didn't pull the trigger then good for you. It can be excruciating to be very good at something but no be in a position of success. You interpretation of success being in a position of high status, fame or in good fortune.

In Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland, they tackle the fear of creating without fear. Creating is more rewarding than quitting because you're afraid. Even when no one wants it, cares about it or even knows it exists. Look at this blog. No one is reading it or I don't know if they are or not, but I continue writing anyway. I'm not in band or giving recitals anymore, yet I still drum on occasion.

So when you don't quote on quote "make it" and you move to teaching then you start to feel a little resentment to those who are paying you to become you in ten years. But maybe they just might make it through that small crack that some get through. You shouldn't hold them back. Some teachers are actually amazing at what they do, but sometimes that art just doesn't have enough popular attention.

Learning an art is no easy task so why would teaching it be any different. The artist has spent many hours, days, months, and years practicing, refining, dedicating themselves to their art. Then a student comes in and doesn't give the art the respect the teacher feels it deserves or says, 'This shits easy', the teacher blows a fuse. So when your teacher says, 'Just do the art', or 'keep at it', or 'practice makes perfect', you should listen. And then do it.

You may go crazy. You may punch a wall. You may drink yourself into a lost weekend or ten years. But it's worth it to me. It's a life lived with fragments left behind. That's the best we can do.

And just always remember that one sun will explode and the everything on this Earth will disappear. Grim, I know, but true.

On one last note, if your teacher is a complete asshole, a temperamental piece of shit who yells at you and puts you down every chance they get, then find a new teacher. If they're like that just part of the time and treat you like an angel the other half then they're bipolar. You have to decide if it's worth it or not on your own. Maybe something you don't want in a lover, but in a teacher it can be kind of fun. Sometimes.

You don't dislike Mondays because they are Mondays

The old adage is 'I hate Mondays' at least that's what Garfield use to say. Or the 'Gotta case of the Mondays' from Office Space. But I don't work on Mondays so I love Monday. It's my day off so why wouldn't I. Except my Monday is Tuesday and it feels the same. Doesn't matter if its Monday or not, its the first day of work. That day is always the hardest because of breaking the rhythmic cycle of being at rest to work. Some people think that they should get rid of Monday workdays, but that's not a good solution. Why? Like I said Monday is only Monday because it's Monday. If it were Tuesday then everyone would say, 'I hate Tuesdays' or worse yet, 'You gotta case of the Tuesdays.'