We were sitting in the Mayflower lounge one night talking with my friends looking at my phone scrolling through Facebook when I saw a poster for a a party at Club Bambi, with a picture of a deer included. I made an inquiry as to if anyone would be interested in going to this party happening tonight. We quickly decided we didn't have anything better to do or anywhere better to go and got ready for a party.
We hopped on our bikes and rode into the night. My housemates - Ben, Hans, Sadik and I, didn't have to go very far. It is just down the road from our apartment; take a left; down that road a few blocks; down some side streets and there it is. Simple.
Ben is from English with a really strong body. He loves to do pull ups until he can't them anymore. His hair styled up and to the back almost resembles Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine, but a little wilder and not as straight. He wears a white T-shirt that is just a little too small so that his muscles buldge out with a pair of stylish ripped jeans. His style suits him alright, but you never get the filling that it fits his personality. I'm a bit of the same that way, but with dark clothes and of course I have a pair of Dickies for every day of the week.
Sadik hails from Pakistan, but lived in the U.S. for around 8 years, high school and college. After graduating he did contract work for the military in South Korea. He likes to talk and can talk a lot. He talks about all kinds of things to do with technology, news, war, guns, politics, games and movies. But most anything before 1991 he knows nothing about. He once said, "Queen? Who's Queen? You mean like the Queen of England?" because he didn't know who sang Another One Bites the Dust.
Hans comes to us from Sweden. In Sweden you can enroll in special programs and they'll pay for you to live in another country for a whole year. The catch is that you have to be enrolled in a language course. Him and his other Swedish buddies all go to the ACE Japanese Language School to learn Japanese. I guess America has programs like that but I never learned how to apply for them.
Once we arrived a man sitting outside said, "Hey guys. Forigrners are free tonight." "Yeah, that's what we saw on the flyer." Ben replied. "Go ahead and park your bikes over there and get in line. It's filling up fast." he said. "Alright. Thanks." we all said chaining up our bikes and quickly getting ourselves in line.
We were standing there for awhile waiting in the mens' line as the women's line quickly dimenished as they hold priority. They quickly get carded and shuffled into the elevators. At some point someone decided that we should use the stairs. Looking at the sign for the building directory I confirmed that the place we were all going was on the eighth floor as a simple dread entered my body.
We started walking up each flight of stairs - 2, 3, 4 - the sweat starts dripping fromm my forehead. 5, 6, 7 - the sweat starts seeping from my armpits and dripping down by back and finally we reach the 8th floor. But there's a line at the door so we have to wait out on the stairs until we can filter through the line.
As we're waiting Sadik says, "Wow man. You're really sweating."
"Yeah, it's hot and we just walked up 8 flights of stairs."
"Yeah but I feel fine."
"Good for you."
We start to filter through the line as a guy stands at the door checking our IDs . We get patted down for weapons or whatever things we can bring in that aren't allowed. There's a television screen in the lobby showing a video of things not to do in the club. One is to not walk and smoke at the same time. Another is to not open other peoples lockers and steal their items. The last one I saw before going in was to not lift up girls skirts while on the dance floor. I think to myself that all these seem appropriate.
As Ben moves to the counter he turns and says, "Hey guys its going to be 2000 yen."
"Why is that?"
"She says it because we live in Osaka."
"What? Why does it matter where we live?" getting a bit frustrated.
"I don't know but I'll just pay. Are you going to pay?"
"Well we've already made it this far. We might as well."
We pay the entrance fee and move into the club. My first thought was, wow the music's loud. Why did I forget my earplugs! The second thought was given to me by Ben as he said, "Holy hell it's crowded in here."
We maneuver our way through the crowd looking for the bar. Although it was 2000 yen to get in we got a 600 yen drink ticket and just about everything on the menu was 600 yen. I make it to the bar where there are loads of people just leaning against the rail. I work slowly to push myself in between them to give my order. Just so I don't have to come back anytime soon I order 2 gin and tonics. The bartender has a very dull look on his face. He seems to strike me as someone who doesn't very much enjoy his profession at the moment. He has some exaggerated arm gestures which I quite admire as it reminds me of Tai Chi movements. He does this arm swooping movement and stops his hand in front of my chest. He's waiting for money. I hand him the drink ticket and he keeps his hand still. I pull out my wallet and give him the other 600 yen for the second drink. He closes his hand and gets to work quickly pouring the two drinks I had ordered. He hands them to me and stand at the counter drinking one while my friends order up their own drinks.
I finish the the first one in a hurry and start the second slowly. I get out the bar area and head towards the dance floor. There are a lot of young men and women in the crowd all facing the DJ. The Japanese always face the DJ as if were some type of concert. They continually wave and acknowledge the DJ's presence so he won't become sad and stop the music. Sometimes a DJ is a concert, for example RJD2. He DJ's with finesse and grace playing totally sick beats and melodies. There are a lot DJ's like him, Boyz Noize, and other some really good remix DJ's but Japanese club DJ's are not even close to that. They play the song either in it's original form or a popular remix from a different DJ. So basically just playing the CD. And not only that, they play techno hits from the late 90's and everyone cheers. It's a particular type of terrible that weights down your feet and makes it hard to move. Yet, you have to play along if you want to get that ass parked on your junk.
They're handing out promotional light sticks for some brand of tequila. They are waving these light sticks like mad. I mozy my way into the front of the dance DJ booth dodging light sticks left and right. There is an elevated dance floor that looks like there should lights flashing underneath but there aren't. It's just a white floor and a group of girls jumps up the floor and start dancing in front of me. It's pretty nice until two guys run up next to me and start dancing in a way that resembles head banging. They're convulsing their bodies as if dancing in an aerobics class and sweating furiously. The girls seem to enjoy it and cheer for them. Many times during their gyrating they come close to knocking my gin and tonic out of my hand. I start to move backwards to give them some space but more people just come around me and fill in the gaps.
One guy now standing in front of me gets my attention and asks me where I'm from.
"America." I said loudly.
"Oh, really. I lived in Canada."
"Wow. That's cool."
The music is so loud that our conversation can't go much further. I can't hear him and he can't hear me. I spot some of my friends and head over towards them.
Ben hands me 2000 yen. "I saw the guy from outside and said hey I thought you said it was free to get in? and he said it is, what happened? And I told him about the living in Osaka thing and he pulled out his wallet and gave us our money back. So here you go."
"That's great. I feel much better about coming here now."
We hang out on the dance floor for a bit but Ben doesn't like crowds so much and slowly starts to move out of the middle of the dance floor. I realize that I'm close to a foot taller than everyone in the club. That's such a stereo type that Japanese people are short. It's not always true. Usually on a train or in a shopping street many Japanese as just as tall or even taller than I am. Just in this moment I'm the tallest on the floor. I see the girls from the front of the room next to me now. I get a feeling that they might be following me. I turn and smile and start to dance a little. They smile back and laugh nervously and begin to walk away. Defeated I stay for awhile and eventually make my way back the corner where Hans and Ben are standing.
The guy from outside is standing with them and asks us, "Do you want a drink?" We all cheer "Yes." very enthusiastically. "What are you having?" Ben and Hans go for a Corona and I stick with my gin and tonic. Ben leans over and says, "This night turned out alright." "Not too bad." I reply. I spoke too soon.
The guy whose name I never got brings our drinks over. I take the gin and tonic in my hand then take a drink. I feel like spitting it out all over the floor. This gin and tonic and full of lime juice. I can't taste the tonic or the gin for that matter. I would throw it in the bartender's face if it wasn't free. Somehow I chug it down and make my way over to Sadik's location.
He's standing in front of a pillar in front staring at a girl in little shorts dancing to the music. Seeming preoccupied with the blaring of music and the girl who may be too young to be in a club I stand next to him with out saying much. I lean over and try to mention that we got our money back.
"What?"
"We got our money back!" I shout.
"Cool." giving a thumbs up "Do you have it with you?"
"Ben has it you got to get it from him."
"Where is he?"
"He's over by the bar with the guy from out front."
"Alright I'll get it from him later."
The sweaty guy from earlier is now standing next to me dancing wildly whipping sweat in all directions. I give a quick look to Sadik and move my way back towards the bar.
I stand next to Hans and say "Well now that I've got my money back I'm going to get out of here. I can't hear anything." Hans agrees and we take off. Waiting for the elevator is a pain and since I hadn't been able to go to the restroom while binging on gin and tonics I have to piss very bad. I wouldn't say I was pee pee dancing but Hans might tell the story differently.
The elevator finally arrives and we ride to the ground floor. I rushed to retrieve my bike and mention that I will stop at the convienant store to use the restroom. Once I'm inside I notice there is no restroom inside. I rush out and point down the street. "To the seven-eleven!"
I race down the road and rush into the seven-eleven. Inside there is a restroom and luckily it's empty. As I take a piss my cigarettes fall onto the ground, but I don't notice until I get outside. A Japanese guy goes into the restroom after me and I walk outdoors to find Hans waiting by the bikes.
"I'm kind of hungry." I said.
"Yeah, me too. Let's get some food."
"Let's go back down to Viento. They have 300 yen pizza."
"Sounds good."
I put my hands in my pockets and realize my cigarettes are missing. I must have dropped them on the street.
"Uh..did you see my cigarettes around here?" scanning the ground.
"No. Why?"
"They were in my pocket and now they are gone."
I start to search the street. I look at Hans and say, "Wait here a second." I ride my bike down the street to the other convienant store but don't see anything. I ride back towards the seven-eleven looking at the ground the whole time. If I dropped them on the street someone might of picked them up I thought. I make it back to Hans and he says, "Check inside. Maybe you dropped them in there." "Good idea." I mention.
In the seven-eleven I see the Japanese guy waiting behind me. He gives me look and says something to the girl he is with. I suddenly think to check the restroom. "Yes." There they are on the floor of the restroom where it looks like someone had stepped on them. I say "Oh well." as I take one out and head outside. I
light up.
"Where were they?" Hans asks.
"On the restroom floor."
He laughs but doesn't say anything.
We stop off by a restaurant on the way home and have a mini pizza, another beer and
some water. The pizza is a long french bread style with meat sauce and cheese on top. It doesn't taste particularly good. I remember having a weird buzz as we sat there talking about the night. We both agree that the highlight of our evening was getting our money back. Although I guess it was better than sitting at home and doing nothing.
We ride home and upon arrival I go straight to my room locking the door and going straight for the bed. I lay there thinking how many missed opportunities I had. Girls willing to get on with me but I was too oblivious to their looks and glances. The gaijin, word for foreigner in Japan, can get laid anywhere they said to me once. Unfortunately I have no game, no looks, no confidence. All the things you need to succeed in one night relationships.
I lay in bed and drift off to sleep trying not to kick myself too hard, where I remain until noon
the next day.
